I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
