oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
When are your genitals available?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
