please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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