I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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