It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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