im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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