You're so nebulous sometimes
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
