Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
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i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
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I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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