Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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