Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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