The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
