so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...