How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...