Texts From Last Night

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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.

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  (720): I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn. http://tfl.nu/6oei
  Replies (8) Good night (2746) Bad night (741)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.

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  (541): Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends. http://tfl.nu/3u3d
  Replies (19) Good night (3930) Bad night (738)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere

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  (908): it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere http://tfl.nu/0cj1
  Replies (17) Good night (6819) Bad night (1161)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?

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  (503): What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you? http://tfl.nu/o1lb
  Replies (27) Good night (1298) Bad night (5630)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.

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  (281): I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO. http://tfl.nu/9byh
  Replies (28) Good night (4384) Bad night (1096)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.

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  (618): Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly. http://tfl.nu/ma4l
  Replies (2) Good night (2176) Bad night (2176)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.

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  (813): We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing. http://tfl.nu/09y7
  Replies (4) Good night (1916) Bad night (719)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.

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  (704): He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book. http://tfl.nu/dqxa
  Replies (22) Good night (1502) Bad night (3407)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...

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  (616): I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"... http://tfl.nu/nha2
  Replies (18) Good night (1232) Bad night (6578)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs

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  (724): Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs http://tfl.nu/vayg
  Replies (5) Good night (1234) Bad night (519)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.

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  (908): He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound. http://tfl.nu/kpce
  Replies (7) Good night (3427) Bad night (633)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.

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  (417): Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny. http://tfl.nu/ihx0
  Replies (2) Good night (1467) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.

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  (312): I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/kiyu
  Replies (1) Good night (695) Bad night (373)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out

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  (440): so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out http://tfl.nu/ke1e
  Replies (0) Good night (324) Bad night (684)
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  (212): View more from New York

  We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?

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  (212): We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay? http://tfl.nu/9bs2
  Replies (2) Good night (962) Bad night (273)

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