He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
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I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
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You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.