party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo