Texts From Last Night

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  (434): View more from Virginia

  There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.

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  (434): There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically. http://tfl.nu/76cj
  Replies (25) Good night (14017) Bad night (869)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.

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  (814): If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already. http://tfl.nu/owi8
  Replies (15) Good night (1090) Bad night (2190)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  there is no way he can be that small

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  look on the bright side he'll over comepensate

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  (419): there is no way he can be that small (1-419): look on the bright side he'll over comepensate http://tfl.nu/8mfj
  Replies (18) Good night (607) Bad night (2584)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate

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  (713): then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate http://tfl.nu/58hb
  Replies (32) Good night (6043) Bad night (1011)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?

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  (509): I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have? http://tfl.nu/03l6
  Replies (23) Good night (3111) Bad night (1571)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!

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  (401): This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan! http://tfl.nu/8a5r
  Replies (26) Good night (5255) Bad night (878)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance

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  (336): i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance http://tfl.nu/wpko
  Replies (10) Good night (6259) Bad night (1247)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.

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  (401): All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it. http://tfl.nu/0ldz
  Replies (19) Good night (1286) Bad night (3535)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.

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  (931): Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex. http://tfl.nu/b52l
  Replies (10) Good night (2687) Bad night (864)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?

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  (347): I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank? http://tfl.nu/v6b9
  Replies (3) Good night (920) Bad night (593)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater

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  (506): She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater http://tfl.nu/6nsz
  Replies (15) Good night (468) Bad night (2389)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.

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  (605): And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way. http://tfl.nu/edar
  Replies (14) Good night (978) Bad night (723)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing

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  (339): Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing http://tfl.nu/jt81
  Replies (3) Good night (796) Bad night (452)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.

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  (+61): Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness. http://tfl.nu/4vgt
  Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (454)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.

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  (734): So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return. http://tfl.nu/kh9h
  Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (241)

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