Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?