fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think I am morally bankrupt
can u get pink eye on your cock?
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?