Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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