then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
