cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
