new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
