Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
