I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
