How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
