Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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