I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
