Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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