Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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