OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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