party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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