i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just gift wrapped bread.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
