My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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