went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
