hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
