And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
