sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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