After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
