Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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