I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she told me i tasted like america
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
