you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize