I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
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That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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