I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
