Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you would pick up someone in the library
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Alive.
So much puke
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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