I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
