Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
