She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
