I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
