Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
