i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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