Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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