Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
did you just send me my own nude
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
