is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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