how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
