Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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