would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Randomize