return my video game
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
