oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Acid is not a monday night drug
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
