I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
