You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
