why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
