The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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