what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
